– Metallica’s fans are threatening to shoot me, and that’s only because I showed up. They haven’t even heard the record yet, and they’re recommending various forms of torture and death.

Lou Reed, Metallica’s partner in crime på Lulu.

Pitchfork har ialfald hørt det 90 minutter lange værk:

…By the time “The View” was released in its full, five-minute ghastliness – with Hetfield variously professing himself to be a table, a 10-story building and, possibly, the premier member of Philly hip-hop band the Roots – the Internet had all the evidence it needed to preemptively crown Lulu the Worst Album of All Time.

For most of the record, Lou Reed and Metallica barely sound like they’re on the same planet, let alone in the same room; the album works neither as powerful rock music nor as an impressionistic soundtrack to a spoken narrative. Reed’s monotone remains unresponsive to what’s happening around him whether the occasion calls for full-torque thrash (“Mistress Dread”) or dreary acoustic mood pieces (“Little Dog”), while Lars Ulrich’s flailing fills during the breakdowns on “Pumping Blood” and “Frustration” are essentially drummerese for “what the fuck do I do with this?” But for all of Reed’s meandering, a-melodic verbosity, it’s actually Hetfield who sounds the most out of place here; beyond his self-parodic turn on “The View”, he contributes intrusive back-ups to the bar-band slog “Iced Honey” and the maddeningly repetitious “Cheat on Me” like someone in the back row of a class photo trying to mug his way into the frame.

Og det har Soundvenue også:

…James Hetfield punkterer Reeds ordflom med improviserede punchline-omkvæd. Det fungerer pletvist, men når han brøler, at han er et bord (!) på ‘The View’ efterlades lytteren med en eneste tanke: Gu’ er du røv, James. Du har kun to ben og et åndssvagt skæg. Og få så tøjet på igen.

Også værste album (+ pressebillede), anyone?